you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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