So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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