If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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