Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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