Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
