I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
