I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
