I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
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I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
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He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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