Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
