Your face is a jimmy john
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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