Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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