She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
