did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
