Michael Bay diarrhea
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
