ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
