They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
