Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
