So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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