I didn't shave. On purpose
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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