Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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