Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
