I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
