Already got asked if we're dating
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
This is my gift to your gina
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
All I want is dick and wine.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
