I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just found puke in my bra..
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
