He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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