on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
