Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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