So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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