thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
