I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize