Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
