I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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