yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
