Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize