FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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