She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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