i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize