i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
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The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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