i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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