you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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