Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
