Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
