I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
