Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize