i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
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