Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
