Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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