Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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