If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I love you. Go after that dick
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
