Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
