btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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