A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
