I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
