In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
