Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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