taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
