oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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