doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
