sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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