two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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