i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
